Across Asia, a new class of childless-by-choice couples emerges: The DINKS
From India to Singapore and Malaysia to Dubai, more couples across Asia are making the choice to be ‘Double Income, No Kids’
Their reasons vary – and it’s not always because of finances. But societal stigma persists, even in a world that’s increasingly overpopulated.
“They haven’t spoken to me in almost three years,” Seema disclosed, preferring anonymity for her safety. “I’m unsure if they’ll ever accept my choice.”
But almost two decades later, the 34-year-old financial analyst from New Delhi remains resolute, causing a strain in her relationship with her parents.
Seema made her decision at the age of 14 not to have children. Initially brushed off by her mother as a youthful whim, Seema's resolve remained unchanged.
Meeting her husband Rajiv while studying at university, they were surprised to find a shared agreement on not having children. Six years into their marriage, their stance remains unwavering.
"I was astonished to find someone who shared my views on being child-free," Seema remarked. "Especially in our culture, where the norm is nuclear families – a mother, a father, and children... Anything different is frowned upon."
Singaporean couple Corinne Chow, a communications professional, and Ryan Tan, who works in commodities, posted a video on TikTok showcasing their lives as a 36-year-old DINK couple, sparking diverse discussions in the comments.
"There are arguments for both sides - those advocating for having kids and those supporting a child-free life," Chow noted. "For us, it's about not conforming to societal norms. Having kids is great if that's what you want. Equally wonderful if you don't."
Tan clarified that their decision wasn't influenced by financial factors but rather by their desire to have control over their resources as a DINK couple.
In 2021, they initiated two scholarships, each offering S$12,000 (US$8,900), to aid underprivileged undergraduates at Tan's alma mater, the Singapore Management University.
"Had we had a child two years ago, this decision would've been much harder," Tan admitted. "But at this stage, it's a way for me to give back and assist students facing financial hurdles."
Despite growing acceptance, a stigma against childless couples persists, according to observers.
Seema and Rajiv from Delhi often face accusations of selfishness and individualism.
"It's like not having a child means I'm not contributing to society," Seema lamented.
Sociologist Parul Bhandari from the University of Cambridge highlighted the misconception surrounding DINK couples, often labeled as selfish and anti-family.
"Motivations vary, including spiritual beliefs or concerns about overpopulation or health," Bhandari explained.
The trend isn't limited to urban areas. Almost 42 percent of rural couples were childless in 2011, compared to 22 percent in urban areas.
"We didn't feel the need for a child; instead, we focus on our passions, like traveling," Verma shared. "It wasn't easy, given our conservative culture, but thankfully, our families accepted our decision."
Verma attributes the lack of pressure and awkward questions to their relocation to the Middle East.
Sociologist Bhandari noted shifts in Indian society's perception of non-traditional family structures.
In parts of East Asia, stigma against childless couples is linked to concerns about declining birth rates.
Rising living costs prompt many couples to reconsider having children, as seen in Malaysia and elsewhere.
Despite the glamorized portrayal of DINK couples on social media, many face financial challenges, according to Fong.
For Evelyn, a 42-year-old teacher from Kuala Lumpur, the decision not to have children evolved gradually.
"We contemplated it initially, but felt financially unstable," she revealed. "Now, it feels like the right choice. We prioritize caring for each other as we age."
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