Newly-Revealed Diary Sheds Light on Transgender Shooter's Turmoil Before Deadly School Rampage

Audrey Hale killed three adults and three children at a Christian school in Tennessee last spring.

Audrey Hale, the transgender shooter who killed three adults and three children at a Christian school in Tennessee last spring, detailed an "imaginary penis" and their agonizing experience as a trans man in a newly-revealed diary.

“My penis exists in my head. I swear to god I’m a male,” Hale wrote, revealing their struggle with gender identity and desire to have sex with women. Hale, who had started using the name Aiden, described being raised as a girl as "torture" and feared being labeled negatively during high school.

Hale’s diary, obtained by the Tennessee Star, also highlighted their frustration with their mother's conservative views and opposition to their transition. Hale lamented not having access to puberty blockers and expressed self-hatred, saying, “I should not be in this body! Nothing on earth can save me… never-ending pain. Religion won’t save.”

Surveillance footage shows an armed Hale inside at Covenant School.

The entries reveal Hale’s fantasies about being a boy, often playing with stuffed toys to enact these scenarios. “I can pretend to be them [and] do the things boys do [and] experience my boy self as Tony,” Hale wrote.

Hale, 28, penned these self-hating entries just 16 days before the March 27, 2023, shooting at the Covenant School. Authorities found indications that Hale had become increasingly depressed and had planned the attack for over a month. Hale’s writings also expressed growing frustration with gun politics and LGBTQ+ issues.

People pay their respects at a makeshift memorial for the victims of the shooting, at the Covenant Presbyterian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, on March 28, 2023.

In the final entry dated the day of the shooting, Hale referred to "Death Day" and admitted to being both nervous and excited about the impending attack. “The day has finally come. I can’t believe it’s here. Don’t know how I was able to get this far, but here I am,” they wrote.

The rampage ended when Hale was gunned down by Metropolitan Nashville Police Department officers. Since the shooting, the families of the victims have pleaded with the courts not to release Hale’s extensive writings, which included a suicide note and at least 20 journals.

“I will not stand by to allow these shooter’s writings to be published in any way. This mass murderer doesn’t get to speak from the grave,” said Erin Kinney, whose 9-year-old son William was among the victims.